Today I am Fat

I will be secretly wearing my jeans with the top button unbuttoned today. This is sensitive, top-secret information, obviously.


Move along.


If you ever, ever see me rocking a pair of jeans like this, you have my expressed permission to quietly smother me in my sleep.
Once I (heaven forbid) get knocked up, I’m spending junior’s college fund on some designer maternity jeans. Either that, or I just won’t leave the house. One or the other, for sure!

If you ever, ever see me rocking a pair of jeans like this, you have my expressed permission to quietly smother me in my sleep.

Once I (heaven forbid) get knocked up, I’m spending junior’s college fund on some designer maternity jeans. Either that, or I just won’t leave the house. One or the other, for sure!


I see absolutely nothing wrong with the style portrayed in this picture. Do you? Maybe you’re just not fashion forward enough. Ever think of that?

I see absolutely nothing wrong with the style portrayed in this picture. Do you? Maybe you’re just not fashion forward enough. Ever think of that?